Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Day 174 - The Puppy and Misadventures In Nature

July 30, 2013         240.6 lbs

Today I had a one hour run scheduled for my workout. As the puppy needs to be walked to burn off some of her crazy energy, I chose to attempt to run with her. I have secretly been counting the days until she could run with me.

First let me say, taking a "selfie" picture can be tough enough in the low light situations I find myself in. Taking a selfie with a force of constant kinetic energy, aka Orion The Puppy is almost impossible. I now have an entire collection of images that resemble the apparitions from the film Jacobs Ladder!

The Puppy has been showing good promise recently so I thought, why not? At worse, I'll end up walking her for an hour. Little did I know how incredibly bad things were going to turn out.

After an adventurous drive to Chandler Blvd. with her head out of the window most of the way, I realized as soon as we parked that I had to pee. Darn it! I looked around but there was no place. So I got The Puppy out of the car and we started walking to warm up. So far, so good. Time to run. We started out nice and easy. She trotted along with me, only getting slightly distracted by everything around her. Within a quarter mile, my heart rate was too high as I kept needing to pull her back into focus of running beside me. All the sudden she was doing great and was effortlessly keeping up with my Z2 slowness. We even passed three different adult Labradors for which she was curious, but didn't freak out or anything. All the while my bladder was sending me warning signals to find someplace quickly to pee.
Around the halfway point, there was a small grove of trees that I have used for emergency pit stop purposes before. I looked both ways, and saw no one nearby, so I stepped into the trees. As soon as I began peeing, the dog thought it was play with water time! Did you know Labradors have webbed paws? I didn't. Before she showed up in our lives, I had been thinking a lot about getting a puppy, especially a puppy that loved the water for some reason. And there she just appears one day with her little webbed paws.
Anyways, she was running directly into the pee stream! So I was turning like a mad man trying to avoid her, creating a lasso of pee around me while she darted every which way barking and me telling her to quiet! Then all of a sudden, (now brace yourself), she changed directions and bolted between my legs.

There was nothing I could do. SPLASH!

The Puppy thought it was a game and tried even harder to get wet. I was stunned and horrified. I looked over my shoulder as I continued to relieve myself without being able to stop! I suddenly heard a snicker behind me when I turned immediately to see a young couple staring at me mouths open in shock! Oops, time to bail.
On the way back she was even better than the trip out. Only acting up when trying to chase down another dog or person. Interestingly, she seemed to do it selectively. Maybe it was due to here being covered in pee affecting her sense of smell.
We got back to the car where I realized what a good idea it would be to get some baby wipes for the car. Fortunately, I brought a towel and was able to put it down.

As we drove back, she had her front paws on the arm rest next to me.  Forgetting myself, I reached over and kissed her head!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

When we got home, I was removing my shoes as she ran upstairs. I heard The Boss say "Come here baby!" And before I could stop her, "Why do you smell funny?"

Me: Yeah, you probably don't want to kiss her right now. I kind of peed on her.

The Boss: Okay R. Kelly.  .  .

She grabbed The Puppy and took her straight up to the shower.  

We ended up running 4.35 miles in an hour. Not bad for her first run. This entire story is true. Until tomorrow my friends.


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